Resilience Skills are Vital to Your Success
Have you ever felt kicked in the teeth? Rejected? Unappreciated? Let down? Criticised unfairly? Disappointed? Actually, the question should be "how often does this happen to you?" - because it does happen to us all.
And it sucks. Right?
How do you respond? Do you bounce back when the going gets tough? Resilience is a learned behaviour. Read on to find out more about resilience - it is vital to your success in life.
When bad stuff happens….
You have a number of options available to you, but not many of us think through our options. Most of us just react in the same way we always have.
For some people, this means getting angry and full of hate. Other people respond by feeling worthless and getting depressed. Some people cry. Some slam doors, kick the cat, get drunk, wake up with a hangover and then feel even more sad about life in general.
In the IT industry, it is no surprise that we have people suffering from mental health issues. Think about it…
You come up with a good idea, but it gets rejected. So, you feel rejected.
You work well into the night trying to solve a problem and then get an angry customer yelling at you the next morning because the issue is not fixed. This makes you feel unappreciated.
You get criticised by people that do not understand you. Therefore, you feel misunderstood.
Nobody seems to appreciate just how much pressure you are under. So, you feel stressed.
Much of the development work or project work we do has a fair amount of trial and error. Fix one bit and another issue gets created. And it all has to be done within impossible deadlines. Now you start to feel you are not good enough.
Phew! Life is tough sometimes - and the above are just a few examples! There are plenty more.
Self-doubt holds us back.
Feeling worthless creates a void inside us that we need to fill. This can lead to self-sabotage.
If we think nobody cares about us, the reality may be that we don't self-care.
The problem is, it is a vicious circle. The more we self-doubt, self-sabotage and don't self-care, the worse it gets. Other people may stop trying to help or may avoid you when you are down. Why?
It is easy to be kind to people who are kind to themselves.
But it is really hard work to help somebody who seems to hate themselves.
I have painted a grim picture here - but unfortunately, this is the reality for many of our IT Professionals. It is an issue we need to tackle, as an industry. We must stop the vicious circle. We must provide resilience training.
There is no "one-size-fits-all" approach. Yes, having general resilience skills will help. But there are many root causes of stress, anxiety, depression and other mental health issues. Each one needs a different course of action to overcome it.
The worst thing we can do is ignore it.
In the coming weeks, we will have more articles about resilience, along with a few tips and tools you can use in your personal life and at work. Watch this space!
Success With Grace is home of the TechBiz Success Academy, coaching and training to help technology based organisations thrive. Heather also invented the "Use your Yo-Yo" system for building resilience in people and organisations. For information about TechBiz programs go to www.techbizsuccess.com
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